A Gross Appreciation of Goats.

I'm here for whaaaaaat?

I was working with a nurse in the lab the other day and we were discussing her prior medical experience when she casually mentioned she'd been through the Army's "Goat Lab".  "The Army what?",  I asked.  "You know, at Ft. Bragg, where they shoot and blow up goats for medics to train on", she replied distractedly, fiddling with the dials on the Coughalator.  "They shoot 'em through the gut then send you in to stabilize them - it's really great training."  I hadn't heard of it and had to admit it did sound like great training, if you weren't a goat.  I have a great appreciation for goats; that program sounded grossly like goat hell.  Then I guiltily remembered my own goat training, and it brought to mind the first time I heard the word "gross".

Growing up, on the farm, we butchered our own meat. The unused parts would be left in the barnyard for the dogs to gnaw and I spent untold hours dissecting the heads - eyes, in particular, fascinated me. After whittling on a head with a dull knife for the better part of an afternoon I would walk away, my curiosity satisfied, leaving the shredded mess where it lay.  One day my sophisticated cousins from the grand metropolis of Green Bay came for a visit. They rolled to a stop next to a desiccated pile of goat scraps and my youngest cousin excitedly piled out, planting her foot directly onto an eyeball with a dull 'pop'.  "OH, GROSS!!", she screamed, flailing her arms and leaping back into the car. I asked my mother what "gross" meant - she said it was a bad word and I was never to say it. I was confused by the wickedness of city people.

I guess we were running a "goat lab" of sorts - they were used for the advancement of knowledge, among other things.  I'm certainly not squeamish at the idea of the Army using animals to simulate human injuries if it makes for better medics, and their lives are given more meaning than the billion or so animals found in the frozen food section. PETA disagrees with me though - after 60 years of exploding goats the Army caved to public opinion and shut down the Goat Lab two years ago. As a humble recipient of the knowledge passed on from goats, I'm grossly disappointed.

http://sofrep.com/3252/goat-lab-18d-training/