The idiocracy has a thrilling new hobby! It's called "Rolling Coal" and it involves modifying a large diesel engine to produce vast clouds of black smoke, preferably while driving in front of environmentally friendly cars such as the Prius. This is a hilarious "middle finger" to the snobbish folks who "care about the environment". Ha Ha! The environment doesn't need caring about! It takes care of itself! See how the black smoke magically goes away?
I've seen this whimsical prank in action, and it is impressive - twin vertical smokestacks that look like they came off a cargo ship belching sulferous thunderheads of hell's halitosis obscuring my vision while I swerve frantically through the darkness convinced the apocalypse has arrived. What saves me is I can just make out the twinkling metal scrotum dangling from their rear hitch, so I know I'm not alone. It's exciting! While I'm grateful to be included in their frivolity I wish they wouldn't do it - it's so hard on their poor engines and they don't have the money to replace them, which means they'll need government assistance when they're fired from the Jiffy Lube for not showing up. Maybe they'll use their free time to come up with some new, amazing joke like turning windmills into lawnmowers or using solar panels to start forest fires. It's nice to see bright young minds turned toward civic responsibility.
No comments:
Post a Comment