Genesis 3:15.

"And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers...."

I was in bed last night sliding through my hypnogogic state when Tammy's voice arrested me: "Uuuuhhmmm - John - there's a copperhead in my bathroom!", each word rising in pitch to crescendo with a shuddering yell.  I trod groggily over and saw with chagrin a small, speckled snake coiled on the vanity behind her collection of bracelets.  I'd just 30 minutes prior obliviously brushed my teeth two feet from it. "Sorry to wake you", she said.  "That's weird it's there", I responded but I was thinking, "I'm sorry too."

"Let me just settle my jaws around your eyball and I'll sing you the song of my people."

I got a glass bowl, gently moved obstacles out of the way and dropped the bowl over the snake, who reacted by striking repeatedly at our warped figures hovering nervously over it.  I slid a manila folder under the glass and carried it still frenziedly striking to the freezer.  

"I feel like our relationship has chilled - can we start over, like, with the whole apple thing?

It's harder than you'd think, going to bed after realizing snakes can enter and hide in your house.  Images of Rikki-Tikki-Tavi flitted through my brain and I briefly entertained the hope that our cat would protect us with mongoose-like ferocity but realized with disappointment that she's middle-aged now, somewhat soft around the middle, and might direct a glare as it slithered past but not start a death-match. I wish I could say I disdainfully dismissed any lurking suspicion of further snakes, but I pulled the sheets down and checked the foot before I climbed back into bed and stepped lightly when I arose in the dark to go to work.

"If you don't mind, I'd like our families to get aquainted - though mine's rather extensive, I'm afraid."

Denver went to bed early, skeeved at the idea of lurking visitors and Tammy was still shuddering over coffee this morning.  River, of course, couldn't care less about unwelcome guests - he sold his soul to the fascination of insects and reptiles long ago.  Some people love snakes and keep them for pets, deluded into thinking the love is reciprocated, but then, some people are barking idiots.

"Too big for one bite, too small for two - what will I do with you?  I'll start by crippling  your ankles."

Exhaustive Google research convinced me that it wasn't a copperhead but an Eastern Milksnake - harmless rodent-eaters who mate in May and produce 24 offspring by June.  Nope. Nope. NOPE.