The Darkness Hides A Horror.

I wake in darkness.  Barefoot, I trod downstairs to the study, weaving my way around furniture from memory.  Occasionally, I trod right onto a warm, wet pile of cat vomit.  I could say my reaction is a calm, manly flick of the light switch and a wry swipe with paper towels but calm would have to mean shrieking and manly would have to involve a shuddering, one-footed, arm-flailing leap into the closet.

I would like to know why cats insist on binging and purging - how warped is their self image?

And why, if they're so ashamed that they try to cover it up, is it openly planted like a colonizing flag?

Locations of their generous deposits may vary, but I'm not convinced they're entirely random.

Despite their piteous pre-emesis yowls, there's nothing cute about cat puke.

It would be nice if they recognized the appropriate receptacle for their indigestion.

But despite repeated behavior modeling, they refuse to learn, or even care.

Cats think they rule the world and can do whatever they want and we'll love them anyway.

Cats are totally right.

I wake in darkness.  Wearing sandals, I trod downstairs to the study clutching a wad of papertowels....